Relationships are both beautiful and challenging at times. We’ve all had disagreements or felt a disconnect with our mates at some point or another. If you haven’t, then I’d love to know your secret.
I’m a relational person which means my first reaction after a disagreement is to want to talk about it or call a friend. I’ve known my husband for 23 years. Wow! It’s amazing when I think about how much time has passed. We’ve been married for 17 years. I am by no means an expert on marriage or relationships but I’ve learned some things along the way.
Let me first preface my comments by saying that every relationship and situation is different. So we all have to make our own decisions and choices based on that.
1. Talk to your mate first, work it out. Talk it through with your mate. Leave no stone unturned. Effective communication is a must in any relationship. There may be times when it’s best to table all discussions until later. You don’t want to say anything in the heat of the moment that you can’t take back. Schedule a time to talk rather than give each other the silent treatment for a few days. Allow one another to express your thoughts and feelings without interruption.
2. Select what you share with friends and family very carefully. I know, this is a tough one. You may have a close relationship with a family member or a BFF who is your confidant. When you are upset or hurting, your first reaction is to call that person for comfort. There is nothing wrong with that, but just remember your confidant does not want to see you hurt. They will help you lick your wounds as confidants do. In the process, it’s possible that they will develop negative perceptions about your mate. What that means is, when you are over it, and things are beautiful again, they may not be as warm and fuzzy toward your mate. So be careful.
3. Know that anyone worth having is worth working/fighting for. You picked one another. A healthy relationship based on unconditional love is definitely worth the effort (in my opinion). It’s easy to quit. There will be ups and downs. Only you can decide whether your relationship is worth the energy.
None of this is earth shattering information. It was on my mind, so I thought that I would share.
Blessed Day to You!
What have you learned over the years?
Peace and Blessings,