Recently my kids caught me off guard. We were on the verge of being late for school. My two younger kids were dragging their feet, and we all had to be somewhere. You know how that goes, the more you rush them along, the slower they move. Well, I have to admit my patience was wearing thin and I raised my voice. Of course they did not like it, and I felt pretty badly about it. I try really hard not to raise my voice, it’s a last resort and not very effective. The next thing they said was, “Dad doesn’t yell”. They went on to talk about all the great things that their Dad does.
I agree, he is a special guy, that’s why I married him. He’s very consistent, even-tempered and almost never raises his voice. We appreciate that about him.
On the other hand, what about all the nice things that mom does everyday? It’s so easy to sensationalize the negative and overlook the positive. They were feeling a bit wounded which is understandable but we had to talk about my expectations for being on time every day.
I’d like to think we are a normal well-adjusted family. We aren’t perfect but we do our best to parent, educate, love and care for our children while cultivating healthy relationships. I decided to use this situation as a teachable moment. This is what I shared with them.
- Parents are different and have their own unique personalities.
- Parents are not in competition (not at our house).
- Both parents have their children’s best interest at heart and want them to be happy.
- Parents are not perfect. Sometimes we raise our voices when we get frustrated.
- Sometimes parents have to say sorry.
- Parents have different strengths. Mom is better at some things than Dad, and Dad is better at some things than Mom.
- Parents play different roles in the family. Each family is unique.
- We are all on the same team, and we work together as a family.
They seemed to feel better after our discussion.
Have you had days like that?
By the time the evening comes, that extra long good night hug or that special compliment confirms that we have moved past the mornings challenges and that we are ready for a new day.
Do your children compare you to one another? How do you handle it?
Peace and Blessings,